With the football season over and the transfer window in full flow, there is a dearth of real football news so you get a lot of speculation and nonsense instead. It don’t half bring out the clichés. So I was reminded of an oft repeated conversation between me and @khev, there are rules in football reporting. Certain things can only ever be described in one way…

• The Football Transfer Window always ‘slams shut‘ – it never just closes…
• Footballers are ‘snapped up‘ – not just simply bought
• Football managers always ‘run the rule‘ over players – they never just have a look…
• Goals are always ‘chalked off‘ – not plain old disallowed…
• Any clash of heads in football is always ‘sickening‘ – not just a bit sore looking…
• Footballers always have ‘blistering‘ pace – no other adjective is allowed
• You can only ever have a ‘sweet‘ left foot – sweet right feet don’t exist

I know there must be hundreds more… let’s be ‘avin‘ ‘em!