This also helps if you’re not a fan of reading subtitles because you can pretty much tell what’s going on without having to pay too much attention to the words (which you should, obviously!). That said, there aren’t many words to read.

13 Assassins Movie Poster

The plot is simple and based on real events. There is a bad guy in the shape of an evil, sadist Lord. There are some good guys in the shape of Samurai Assassins . The first half of the film leaves us in no doubt how nasty the bad guy is and is quite shocking (this isn’t a comic caper). As we learn more about quite what a horrible character he is, we see our group of heroes assemble. The second half is, unsurprisingly, one great big fight. What’s not to like. As movie shape goes, it’s not unlike Tora! Tora! Tora! – a slow burner of a setup with a biff, bang, pow ending. You have to be happy to sit through the setup. And, obviously, thoughts will inevitably turn to The Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven.

As set-piece fights go, it doesn’t disappoint. My preference would always be for a martial arts rumble over a sword fight but there is much to like in the setup and invention of how the fight plays out. There are a few times when it feels a little like Assassin’s Creed, the protagonist surrounded by 10 attackers and only 1 prepared to attack at a time. Perhaps it’s a Samurai code thing, perhaps it’s the unavoidable need to let the good guys win. Either way, it’s not a huge complaint, the fight delivers everything you’d want.

Saying the film is simple pretty much gives away the end but I doubt very much you’d expect anything else and you will be suitably cheered.

As for the visuals, the Blu-Ray print is absolutely fine. The colours in the film are quite muted (which works well and adds to the realism) but it means the image doesn’t leap off the screen at you ( in the way that Red Cliff does at times ). The sound, especially in the fight scene, is great, so crank it up loud!

Really enjoyed 13 Assassins, a very worthwhile Blu-Ray purchase. Will you like it? As Harry Hill would say, there’s only one way to find out, FIGHT!!!

Well, I’m not going to say I was disappointed by Warlords. I enjoyed it but it wasn’t all that I had hoped. There is some big cinema here. Big battles, big sets and an attempt at big ideals but it really didn’t hang together well enough to be great. The look of the film is excellent and the acting is good. Jet Li, in particular, surprises a little in quite a restrained role. And I suppose that’s the problem. The film is clearly far more about gritty realism than it is about people flying about on wires with extended, highly choreographed fight scenes. So, if that’ what you’re after, you’re inevitably going to be disappointed. And because it tries to have more depth and doesn’t really succeed. The plot is straightforward enough but gets a little muddled.

As for the visuals, the print is quite variable. The grain appears to be turned up to 11 to, presumably, enhance the gritty realism and this generally works but sometimes leaves the overall image looking a little poor. There is some great cinematography which would perhaps look a lot better if it didn’t appear to be over-sharpened.

There is still much to enjoy here and, being in more recent history, the use of guns and canon and a slightly more modern approach to warfare is interesting to see in a Chinese context. It is clearly an interesting period in Chinese history and the film drives an intrigue and a desire to find out more. The weird thing is I find myself a little at odds with most of the reviews I’ve read of the film, most people are hugely positive and, I can see why, but it didn’t quite gel as a whole for me. Maybe it was a Sunday night thing.

If you’ve not watched any Chinese historical drama before, start with Red Cliff, it’s ace.

I suppose the reason Synecdoche, New York is hard to review is that, as I watched it, I knew I was enjoying it; it was just never obvious why. That means that you can’t just do a list of cool things and say “watch it” at the end. Which is what this lazy reviewer likes!

The subject matter seems straight-forward enough, a theatre director battles with work and women while he stages a new play staged inside a model of New York in a warehouse. This is Kaufman, it’s not that simple. If I left it there, you’d perhaps shrug your shoulders and wander off to watch Transformers. But don’t. Bear with me.

Firstly, the acting is superb. As ever, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is ace and is ably supported by the rest of the cast, Samantha Morton is particular. As he ages and his health worsens, you really do feel everything that is happening to him. Which is why I can’t quite understand why someone insisted no trying to label this film a comedy. I know why they’d want to do this, but really, have a word with yourself. That’s not to say there aren’t light-hearted moments but I’m sure that marketing gang had a fit at the initial screening; comedy this isn’t.

Hoovering, it's a philosophical thing

Like other films I have reviewed here ( like Haneke’s Hidden and The White Ribbon ) what makes this film stand out is the extent to which it lingers on the mind. Even now, hours after I watched it, I’m still wondering, it’s still making me think. I suppose you could even say that I was unsettled by it. There are obviously strong philosophical overtones running throughout, none of which I would claim to understand all that well. As an example, the main character is called Cotard, named after the Cotard Delusion, a condition that makes people think they are dead or, at least, don’t exist. And it is the question of existence and what that means that permeates the film throughout. I’ll resist the temptation to disappear any further into my interior at this stage.

The play itself is a typical Kaufman device that allows another kind of delusion to be explored. It allows the characters to see themselves being played by others which gets increasingly surreal that nearer the timelines of the play and real life get closer together (and, at times, cross).

By way of scoring other lazy reviewer points, I’ll add that this film sees Kaufman stray far closer to David Lynch territory than before. So, if you liked Inland Empire…

With regard to the Blu-Ray question, the film has quite muted visuals throughout. The print is generally very good but it’s not a must-see on Blu-Ray, the DVD print would be good enough I’m sure.

If you’re prepared to be challenged, entertained, a little confused and perhaps a little unsettled then you really should watch this film. My final words of praise are simple. I’m going to watch it again soon.

What I really want is a great plot, great acting and to get to the end feeling in some way challenged, enlightened, enlivened, depressed – to get to the end feeling something – other than the need for a pee.

I’ve had Oldboy waiting to be watched for a while  and I’ve no idea why I didn’t watch it ages ago (but I’m gonna blame the X-Factor). It’s superb, delivers everything I’d want from a film. An inventive, intriguing plot, brilliantly delivered and directed and with quite a few genuinely unsettling moments (without being a naughty spoiler boy – I watched a few bits through my fingers).

The story starts with a man being kidnapped and locked in a room for 15 years for no reason he can think of. He is then suddenly released and, after a few encounters, is challenged to work out why he was locked up. If I say any more than that I risk spoiling things. That is pretty much all it says on the back cover. As you can imagine, there is much in the plot to spoil. Like any story that revolves around a central mystery, you are taken through a well-paced reveal with a good number of twists and turns along the way. See how hard it is not to tell you what happens? You really need to watch it.

The direction is great too. There is some great invention. The most famous being the corridor fight scene, apparently shot in one take, it makes you want to always keep your hammer handy.

My only complaint is that the Blu-Ray print isn’t great. Although it is undoubtedly a little better than the DVD, so if you can get the Blu Ray cheap enough, go for that, but don’t expect much. The visuals are mixed, with some scenes quite grainy. It’s not a film you reach for when you want to show off your new TV. Quick nod to the soundtrack, I really liked the music. It wasn’t a typical Asian cinema soundtrack, perhaps highlighted by the fact that all the tracks are named after Hollywood films.

Also delighted to read that the intended Hollywood remake has been canned. There is no need, what do people have against subtitles?

Can the imaginary training of fifteen years be put to use? Yes it can.

Can’t recommend this film enough. I’m off to get the other two in the trilogy now.

Well done me, I didn’t say Kafkaesque… oh…

Clearly, the Oscar winning performance of Marion Cottilard in the lead role stands out above all other aspects of the film. It is one of those performances that is so completely believable that you get completely absorbed by it. Trying to think of other examples, the best I could remember was Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. You totally forget that it’s Dustin Hoffman.

The portrayal of Piaf also feels very genuine. There is no sugar coating. You feel that she wasn’t a fun person to be around and could be fairly unpleasant.

With a good story and an great lead, it would have been easy for the director to sit back and lazily wander through the story. Olivier Dahan didn’t rest on these laurels and created a perfectly woven time line, jumping back and forth to great effect. I suppose it helps greatly that there is no great suspense to be held. Most people watching the film will know or assume what will happen in the end. This enabled the director to contrast different phases of her life by setting them back to back and mirror the fragmented state of her memory in later life.

In addition to that, there are some real directing flourishes, the scene where Piaf reacts to the death of Marcel Cerdan is not only the acting high point of the film but also masterfully imaginative direction.

Having seen the film before, I was able to concentrate more on the visuals and they don’t disappoint. There is a huge variety on offer. From the grime of a downcast Paris to the glitz of New York at night, the colours and particularly the lighting never disappoint. If you have the good fortune to see this film in Blu-Ray, pay particular attention to the lighting in every scene, it really is tremendous. The variation in dynamic range, usually reflective of mood or circumstance,  really challenges the Blu-Ray but it is spot on. The sound doesn’t disappoint either and if you can see even a slight glitch in the lip-syncing, you’ve done better than I.

Now, whether or not you want to watch this film could hinge on whether or not you like to here Piaf sing. Her voice may not sound instantly enjoyable, particularly in amid the sounds of today, but it does have an intensely evocative quality that the film matches perfectly. So, if you want to see a not particularly cheery story, told beautifully with some spectacular acting, you won’t regret (who saw that coming?) having a look at this cracking Blu-Ray.

*edit – just been told I coincidentally posted this on Edith Piaf’s birthday

Let’s run through the Jeunet checklist:

1. Quirky characters and plot ✔
2. Great and varied cast ✔
3. Imagination in spades ✔
4. Looks beautiful ✔
5. Not Alien Resurrection ✔
6. Yellow filter ✔

As you can see, we’re already on to a winner. So, the story. How about “Loveable loser takes revenge on 2 arms companies with the help of a quirky collection of misfits“? That about covers it. Except that it is told in Jeunet’s signature style of comic art imagination and visual invention. What can go wrong when you have a guy with a bullet in his head, an ex-con, a gadget man, a contortionist and number geek helping to barrel the plot along.

Visually, the Blu-Ray print is stunning. Jeunet’s films are generally beautiful and on Blu-Ray the whole thing really pops. The night scenes in particular are glorious and throughout the interior production design bristles with style – think Hudsucker Proxy meet Lucky Number Slevin (for the office scenes at least).

You can see some of the night time awesomeness in this trailer.

As gang capers go, the plot isn’t the strongest. Micmacs doesn’t have any intricacy woven into it, it’s a straightforward approach to an older style of revenge/heist plot which is brought to life and made modern by the approach to telling it and unerring innovation. Although the schemes at work have some complexity, you are a little outside of the plot so things just happen and you’re not taken along with the plan as it goes. Some of the plotting gets a little slow in places but is always helped out by nice touches and quirks. Fans of Social Media will particularly appreciate the viral aspect of the closing sequences.

As a comedy it won’t have you laughing out loud, as a thriller it won’t have you gripped by as an overall movie experience both in looks and content it never fails to entertain. Imagination and beauty, Jeunet at his best.

So where is “A Very Long Engagement” on Blu-Ray? Get on with it people.

Despite being the second Blu-Ray review I’ve done of a Haneke film ( check out the Caché review here ) I’m no fan boy. His films are not a flurry of excited enjoyment. As with Caché, there is much to consider, debate and ponder and most of that is done after the film has finished. You never get a feeling of satisfaction at the credits.

Let’s deal with the basics. A small German village is beset with a series of unfortunate events (no, not those ones) which seem to be a punishment for some unspoken crimes. These lead up to the outbreak of the First World War and the people worrying about what that will mean for them.

The story is told through the eyes of the village schoolteacher a narrator many years after the events ( reminscent of the narration in The Name of the Rose ). The action moves with an very slow pace, it’s like the most suspenseful of Hitchcock drawn out in slow motion. Not that there are ever any great shocks or surprises, it is the almost mundane treatment of the events that make the point.

The film is a long essay on evil. But not the Hannibal Lecter bitey kind, the more chilling everyday evil that wanders hidden through society (ooh, hark at me). It suggests that terrorism exists everywhere, not just its traditional forms. I was also reminded of the themes from many of the novels in Zola’s Les Rougon-Macquart which also focus on the darker side of ‘normal’ life, especially La Bête Humaine which has a similar brooding evil and is also set at the outbreak of a war.

The acting stands out with some truly excellent performances from some very believable child actors. Given the pace of the film, the acting has to be exceptional.

This could easily be a still from a German remake of To Kill A Mockingbird. But this is not a scene of hope in the style of Atticus, this is us faced with the faces of the villagers in the, perhaps certain, knowledge that at least one of them has been a bit naughty.

With regard to the Blu-Ray itself. Some disappointment here. There are a lot of dark scenes were the artefacting is pretty horrendous, smooth clean blacks they ain’t. You can just about cope though as it isn’t all that frequent. My main gripe is about the black and white itself. The film was shot in colour and converted to black and white and all too often, the scenes are too grey. Maybe this is just the photographer in me wanting it done a different way. I’m sure they must have considered this and chosen to do it this way to match a particular style of old, but I wasn’t a fan. I would have preferred more contrast and sharpness overall. There are some good images, very white vistas of fields and trees look good but in the acted scenes it can look a bit bland. As I say, that could be a personal thing as I would have gone with a Gorman-Holbert type conversion on the lot.

I enjoyed The White Ribbon whilst not been blown away by it. I think this is largely because of my objections to the print niggling at me too much. The mood, characters and acting are all excellent. If you like immersive, challenging cinema, it’s well worth a look but I think a DVD copy would suffice.

It’s important to make one thing clear. This isn’t the Coens of Burn After Reading or The Big Lebowski. Arguably their most personal film to date, it may not be for everyone, but it should be.

So, the subject matter in itself may not inspire all. Jewish physics professor, divorce and draining sebaceous glands don’t add up to say ‘summer blockbuster’ but this is a good thing. This film is thoughtful, it has a point if you want to look for it but it is also entertaining enough in itself for the point not having to matter.

The story details the slow destruction of the life of a Jewish physics professor,played by the excellent Michael Stuhlbarg. His wife is leaving him for a family friend ( and great performance by Fred Melamed), his University are receiving mail about him, a student is giving him hassle, his troubled brother becomes more and more of a burden. And all this happens to him despite him doing everything he can to live a decent life, be a serious man. In short, shit happens.

The film is crammed with so many quintessentially quirky Coen moments . The dialogue is a fizzy and intriguing as ever and much of the detail is clearly fuelled by the Coen’s own upbringing. The story told by the second Rabbi is particularly entertaining.

Having now watched it again, I’m happy to say that my original enjoyment of the film didn’t diminish and the cracking Blu-Ray print just adds to the experience. Visually the film is very subdued in colour but still manages to spring off the screen. The transfer is really very good and warrants getting this film on Blu-Ray.

For the photography fans among you, I’m fairly sure the look of this film was inspired by William Eggleston’s Guide. Both the surroundings and the tone are, at times, identical.  Just less tricycles.

Buy this Blu-Ray. Accept the mystery. Watch it and you’ll know what I mean.

The film itself is not the usual French style-fest, with a complex plot and a lot of action it more resembles a Hollywood movie in it’s style and delivery. Unsurprisingly, it looks like an remake is on the way. If Harrison Ford were younger he’d be a shoe-in for the lead role, requires expertise in ‘familial angst’…

Based on the novel Ne le dis à personne… by Harlan Coben, the film tells the story of a pediatrician 8 years after the murder of his wife as he starts to think she might be alive. Avoiding spoilers at all costs I’ll say no more about the plot other than to say it is as good as it is complex ( very much in the style of that excellent novel The Beatle Man ). And, unlike another film I reviewed here Caché, it does provide a more pleasingly complete dénouement.

Tell No One Movie Poster

Visually, being a city-based thriller, the film was never going to be a stylish beauty but the Blu-Ray print is excellent. Being a thriller, there is a fair bit of dashing around at times with some wild camera work that doesn’t care about image quality but, when required, most scenes pop off the screen very nicely indeed.

I’ve read complaints about the sound in other reviews but it didn’t trouble me overly.

A highly recommended film but not one that absolutely have to see on Blu-Ray ( but for £8 you may as well ). Of course, you should see if before the Hollywood remake so you can say “well, of course, I’ve seen the original French version mwhaa mwhaa mwhaa…<flounce>” and because I have a horrible suspicion that the plot may have to be simplified or heavily clued for the popcorn bucket test audiences.

Other reasons to watch it:

• Kristin Scott Thomas is in it acting in French.
• He drives a big Volvo.
• Jeff Buckley is in the soundtrack. ( so are U2 but we can gloss over that )

Red Cliff is actually two films that were originally released 6 months apart. We’ll ignore the much shorter single film Western release. At a pathetic 150 minutes it’s not worthy of consideration.

The film tells the story of the Battle of Red Cliffs which took place in China in 208/9 AD. (The Wikipedia link contains spoilers for obvious reasons!)

This is film making on a very grand scale. Check out this spanking HD trailer, you’ll see what I mean and will give you a far better flavour than my attempts and finding more and more words that mean “big”.

Looks cool, eh? Well, it is. And in Blu-Ray it looks consistently great. The video quality is excellent throughout, helped by some excellent cinematography and vivid colours, especially in the customers. I’m almost certain at one point of the film you will say “nice helmet” with abandon. Sound too is very good although I found the soundtrack to be good not excellent. Not quite of the quality of a Tan Dun meets Yo Yo Ma.

Now, I understand that approaching 5 hours of subtitled Chinese history may not be for everyone. But you could easily watch this as a mini-series spread over 5 nights. You watched Shogun didn’t you? Bet you did. This is MUCH better.

Sometimes the plotting of ‘true’ events can be a little pedestrian, real life doesn’t always have the twists and pace to build tension or surprise – but there is enough artistic license allowed by the lack of known detail that the story entertains consistently. Although I suspect that much of the interesting detail was added by the historians much later.

Obviously, some of the fighting could be seen as a little silly. Single heroic warriors take on large gangs on baddies single-handedly in very choreographed sequences. You either like this or you don’t but it is entirely fitting with the genre and I’m sure it played very well with Chinese audiences. And, I suppose, post-Matrix, we have more of a fondness of it.

For a film that is essentially about a single battle, there is obviously a huge amount of depth around it. So battle lovers may drift off waiting for it to kick off. There are big lull’s between the 3 main battle sequences but these are just as entertaining in their own way. And when the final battles comes, you won’t be disappointed. It makes Helm’s Deep look like a square-go in the playground.

There is some pretty decent CGI woven in here too. The shot of dove flying over Cao Cao’s fleet is rather smart (you can see a short piece of this in the trailer) and I like the shots of the arrows flying straight at the camera.

All in all, it’s a cracking piece of entertainment and should be part of any Blu-Ray collection.

So, if you have a spare 5 hours to waste and you love great looking movies then get Red Cliff, especially as the full two-disc Blu-Ray is only £9 on Amazon.

Mr Woo, what shall I do? I’ll watch Red Cliff again for sure.