Hogmanay Wordle Quiz

A final wee quiz for 2009. I generated this word cloud from the entire text of a novel**. If you can guess the novel you can win a copy of the book.





Second prize is 2 copies :-)

If you like this kind of Word Cloud type quiz there are another EIGHTY over at www.bimbogami.co.uk based on music and movies. All free and fun. And if you play you'll make @manicmorff very happy.

Word cloud courtesy of www.wordle.net

** there's a clue on this page

Luckily It's All About The Art

When it comes to reward for effort, writing a book has to feature at the very lowest reaches of the league table. Months of effort and toil on The Beatle Man and I get 46p for every copy sold on Amazon (or other sites). I'm not complaining, such is the way...

Recently, I was playing about with the Amazon Affiliate widgets (as is my wont, I like a widget) and I set up the links (on here and elsewhere) to allow people to buy the book via my site. Some kind person did and I got 50p for it.

So, 2 minutes of effort to put a link in a blog produces more reward than months of writing. Obviously, it's not about the money, as Stu and I have been discussing a lot of late, it's much more about the cheapies. So, I'll keep writing, and maybe add some more links!

A Word from our Sponsor

I would like to take a few moments to suggest you check out the most excellent NewsBiscuit book, Isle of Wight To Get Ceefax. If you're not familiar with NewsBiscuit it is a UK focused satirical website (much in the style The Onion). This book contains the best from the site and is a perfect gift for Xmas in that coffee table book style.

The book itself is really well produced and looks great. I know this because I received my complimentary copy today. It is hardback with colour and images and... "Hang on", I hear you interrupt, "your complimentary copy? How so?" "Oh", I reply, "Didn't I mention that I had a story in it?" "No you didn't", you continue, astonished, "Did you get paid?" "I will receive some recompense, yes." "But won't that make you a professional satirical writer?" "Well, I rather suppose it does."

But seriously, it is genuinely funny, despite my very short and heavily abridged contribution. I encourage you all to check it out.

It's Not Easy Being Green

Two steps forward, three steps back. I'd made some progress on TerraExitus. Not much, but enough to give me a feel for where I was going. And there's the problem. I passed a few chunks by Stuart and we both arrived at a pretty similar conclusion. It was a bit too hard to read. I know what I was trying to do, but Stuart put it best:

"I still wonder if attempting to deliberately create an artificial authorial voice with your second novel is altogether wise."

He has a point. I think I'd need to be far better than I am to pull off what I was trying to do. I need to have a think. Do I try to pull it off? Do I stick with the first person at all? I have so little time to work on this now, I'll never finish it with too big a false start. I need to think...

Party All Over The World

Well. Despite not being able to buy The Beatle Man on Amazon in the UK at the moment, the booksellers in other parts of the world have sprung into action.

So, the people of Japan, Denmark & Estonia, I say to you, buy the book, love the book and, if you're very talented, read the book!

• Estonia
• Denmark
• Japan

One Step Forward...

Two steps back. First the good news, the book cover art has turned up on the Amazon listing for the book. Which is nice.

Unfortunately, Amazon cancelled the test order I did saying they couldn't get the book and you can no longer buy it. So much for the so-called 'distribution'.

It seems remarkable that (what must be?) an entirely electronic process is so incredibly slow, clunky and beset with problems. Unless it is simply some intransigence relating to BookSurge.

Yours grumpily,
The Typo King

And finally Esther...

Well, well, well. After who knows how long, The Beatle Man is now listed on Amazon (albeit with a somewhat perplexing 'sourcing fee' which will hopefully go and no cover art).

Not entirely as energised by this news as I would have expected, but all things writing are likely to take a back seat for a while until I get the predicted job change out of the way.

Just back from a weekend on the Solway Coast. Very nice it was too. Although, it stayed very grey until the day to come back. As a result the photos were largely of the expected variety...





Finally, many thanks to Anna for sending me my first book review from the US. I'm very glad you liked it.

Free Porn

There is so little to report it is a little embarrassing to even consider a blog post but I feel I owe my reader some output.

So, you'll have to put up with a crappy clip show of a post (and a really spammy title, just as an experiment).

Book Stuff
Bit of a distribution delay; apparently the text on the title page was too near the edge. So much for buying a copy, seeing it was fine and approving it. I could scream 'racket' but I won't. I'll believe that this was a safe precaution to avoid issues at the distribution printer. But having to get another pointless proof? Well...

I've dipped my toe into some Google Ads in advance of distribution. Quite good fun, quite enlightening. I'll do more when things are ready to rock on Amazon.

Set up a Facebook page for the book. Go now, become a fan! I've got a design for a Facebook Ad ready to go too.

I've also integrated a PayPal cart into The Beatle Man website for buying signed copies. Two sales so far, thanks guys! **

Photo Stuff
A lovely weekend on Islay didn't yield too many photo ops due to some dodgy old weather, but was quite pleased with what I did get. You should all go to Islay, its fab. Many thanks to A&M.



click to download full size

I finally got round to trying my new black backcloth too. It went quite well for a first time. Here's a new portrait for you all to hurl abuse at (if you haven't already on Facebook).

For old times sake, I shot some veg.

The new lens is a real peach. But the f2.8 one would have been better for:

Had a rather fun (but challenging) shooting the dress rehearsal of a stage musical at the Kings in Edinburgh. Was very different and great fun roaming round an empty theatre. Discovered that auto-ISO would be a very useful feature in low light. Excuse no. 1 for a new body. Thanks to Scott for letting me have a go.

Puzzles

Not long now until season two of Bimbogami is nearly there. Most of the puzzles are in the can and MorFF is busily coding the new improved site. We'll be going for a full synchronised launch so the teams can have a good battle. Should be fun.

** Late breaking news, that's 3 signed copies now! One is off to the US...

Butterfly Boy Strikes Back

Well, I just wasn't in the mood tonight. So I watched some football and then did this.



I know this is the cart about 14 miles in front of the horse, but it was a fun diversion for 10 minutes. Many thanks to Elisa Stopponi for letting me use her great image. She is a great talent. I hope that I can get the book finished so this makes it out into the world!

Sadly, I'm pretty much out of "interesting people I have met" stories...

Very Odd Sensation

Hey! Two nights in a row. Not predigous output but definite signs that the butterfly has landed for a while. Just called me Forrest Gumption.
A weird thing happened tonight. The stuff I was trying to right was so bleak (at least that was the intention) that I actually depressed myself writing it. It was very odd. I'm not entirely sure that I can keep this up for a whole book. Which makes me think why the hell anyone would want to read it. I think that until I remember that that is exactly the kind of book I like to read. So, I'll buy a copy.

Ok, so, the Mr. Sulu story (such as it is, I can hear Stu groaning already). I was working in a bookshop on Princes St. It was summer and the festival was in full swing. Who should walk in but George Takei. He was doing a play in the festival about a Japanese guy that thought the war was still on. We held our breath (am I over-egging the tension here?). He did a few laps of the postcard stand and approached the till with 3 postcards. 15p each, "45p please". And he replied with these immortal words:

"Is that a fifty, I'm not familiar with your currency?"*

The rest is all a blur. Suffice to say I didn't utter any embarassments and didn't get an autograph. All I got was my cheapies.

* Yes, I do the voice normally.

Saddle Up and Ride Your Pony

Oooh that was tough. Seems jumping back on the writing pony after so long isn't going to be easy. Still, I soldiered my way to something that resembled output. I'll settle for that. I'm sure it'll get easier.

Wasn't helped by the marvellous David Attenborough staring his new series last night. I was recording it but I was drawn to watch it nonetheless. It's just great to see the joy that all these creatures still give him.

Seems apropos to fess up to the time I met David Attenborough. He was doing a book signed in Glasgow for the Private Life of Plants and I nipped away from work to meet the great man and get a book. All the way along St. Vincent St I was desperately trying to think of what I would say. I don't have many hero-types, so meeting one was a big deal.

I made it to the head of the queue and got my book. And, having thought of nothing else told him what a great pleasure it was to meet him and "it isn't often you got to meet a man who has seen a live coelacanth". He wasn't phased by this idiocy, he looked up and simply said "Yes, yes it's true."

I found out many years later when reading an excellent book on the coelacanth that perhaps he had arrived a while after the coelacanth was caught. But it wasn't clear so I'll give the great man the benefit of the doubt.

Tune in next week folks for "When Scotty met Mr. Sulu."

The Clock is Running

It is too easy to mask lack of progress behind an "I haven't really started yet" excuse. So, with The Beatle Man winging its way to the dark corner of a server somewhere*, it is time to finally declare that work on Terra Exitus has begun. I'll be able to look back at this post and work out how long it took.

I do this with some trepidation as it feels like standing at the bottom of a big hill (again). Although I am far better prepared this time and have a much better idea of how to get to the other side. Obviously, some people, have expressed reservations about the plot, which I will try to overcome. I'm now at the stage where I need to commit to it and see how it starts to pan out. In many ways, it will be much harder to write than The Beatle Man which is why I've decided to be much more freeform in how I approach it.

Expect the "I've done nothing" posts to start some time soon!

(50 geek points to anyone who can tell me what the title of this post refers to.)

* an alternative "Well of Lost Plots" (ffanks Jasper)

"It's gonna be a glorious day!"

Fridays are normally good days. I particularly liked this one for four main reasons:

1. I received the final proof copy of The Beatle Man today and have just approved it for distribution. In about 6 weeks it will be available to buy from all the regular online book retailers.

"We are standing on the edge."

2. I'm going to submit the proof copy to the British Library tomorrow.

3. I discovered, by lucky hap, that That Petrol Emotion has trying to reform for a tour. I'd never considered this was possible not least because the guys had gone on to do their own things and Steve was on the other side of the Altlantic. I very much hope they can get it together and I will do whatever I can to make sure I make to one or more of the gigs nearest to me. True believers unite.

4. I got my Bimbogami T-Shirt today. And very fine it looks too. Watch out for the new live chat feature on the site, I'm almost certainly sure it will be the first puzzle site to provide such a feature.

In other news, I finally got my hands on scottliddell.com. The fools in China must have realised it wasn't going to make them any money. I'm still thinking what precisely to do with it!

978-0-9556830-0-8

After a short sabbatical, I finally got back on the publishing bandwagon tonight. Updated the manuscript to add ISBN and publisher details etc.

The more you look into this, the more nooks and crannies you find. When I get the book published I have to send a copy to the British Library, which is nice. But then I discovered the whole CIP catalogue thing. So, I've submitted the book to the catalogue. If you're going to so something etc...

It's all a bit chicken and egg. I'm not sure if I can still submit to Amazon now coz I think the CIP thing will take a wee while. I suppose the good news is that this gives me some time to do a final proof read (groan).

Since it is all taking a while now, I've added a link from The Beatle Man website so you can buy it now. No point in losing sale :-(

Introducing The Band

After almost interminable provarication, I finally decided on my publishing name, so, gentle reader, I give you "Closed Loop Publishing" (Yes, I have got a degree in Electronics, very rarely referenced and almost entirely forgotten.)

Now I have to prepare the book for publication. Good news is that review is flooded in. A creditable "enjoyable romp" from McGenius. I'll settle for that. I was never trying to redefine the world/genre/anything else. That was the plan way back when when I started, getting away from the navel gazing of Orion's Belt and have a bit of fun.

Thanks to Bri, I also have the spectre of sorting more typos and, as my reader will understand, that's not my favourite past time so, as a result, further progress has been, well...

Still, I have the Xmas hols to give me some time, so maybe then. I can tell you are all getting terribly frustrated with the wait .

I Have In My Hand...

No, not that. I finally got the proof copy of my book and, I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised. I pretty much got the formatting right, a few small things to tweak, which I will do in the revision before it goes to distribution.

Not got the distribution underway yet. Hopefully get the form in tonight. I've been a busy butterfly on something else. Of which, more later.

So much for the soft launch...

Well, the plan was to wait until I had all the ISBN/Amazon nonsense completed before telling people how they could buy the book and releasing it on the world but some quirks of the system have let it loose to those kind souls keen enough to buy a copy before I've had a chance to check that the formatting is OK.

The process requires you to make the book available before you can buy a distribution package. Then Google spiders the page and, whoosh, you can find it and buy it very easily. How long it will take to turn up? I have no idea. There seems to be talk on the forums that UK printing is a little slow at the moment.

I've ordered my proofing copy, so I would still recommend not to plunge for a purchase until I made sure it was OK. But, if you are feeling like a risk taker and want the, soon to be rare, edition with no ISBN number on it then have a look here.

I'm not getting anywhere fast with distribution. I ordered the distribution package on 15th November and have heard nowt since (despite repeated attempts to find out what is going on). I will collect all my experiences to date in a later post.

So, thanks to you 3 bold adventurers that have taken the plunge so far.

Marketing, Shmarketing...

And so thoughts now turn to marketing a book. A bit of an impasse while I await all the ISBN gubbins, so I'm having a think about promoting the book. Clearly, if you write it, they don't come, so something needs to be attempted to overcome that.

I'm not entirely clear on the plan but I've got a few thoughts. My intention is to share what I attempt to do in this regard herein and be as accurate as I can about the relative success or failure. I'm not expecting miracles.

Obviously, I'll start with harassing everyone I know and take it from there. I've started the revamp of The Beatle Man website to get it ready for the influx of reader.

Still to decide how much of a marketing budget I will allow myself. It won't be a lot but I think there is more to be learned from trying a few things. Should be interesting to see what can be acheived promoting a novel.

I'll definitely NOT be buying a "self promotion kit" which seems to consists of a pointless collection of paper.

Muted, Pointless Drumroll Please...

Don't all get too excited, but here is the World Premiere, latest version of the front cover. It will maybe get a little tweak before the final version goes out to distribution. Alternatively, I'll have got bored of it by then and will have a whole new one.




And just when you thought it couldn't get any more exciting, here's the latest back cover too...

Fun-Dabby-Not-Dozy

Well, the plan is working. I'm having fun. Despite it being a little bit fiddly at times, getting The Beatle Man prepared to publish is proving a lot of fun. Not been this energised with it for a long while. So the main goal is being acheived.

It's going pretty quickly now too. A lot of reading and learning but its coming together. Next stage is to sort out the publishing/distribution which, if I've read things correctly, seems reasonably simple.

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions for names for publishers after my appeal on Facebook. I particularly liked Barry's suggestion of "Scott Who?". Sorry Baz, won't be using that one.

I think it'll be in the e-shops before (or soon after) Xmas. I assume the world can't wait. Watch out for the world premiere of the new cover on this blog sometime very soon.

Onward

So, here we are. I've submitted The Beatle Man to a couple of publishers and a few agents and been rejected by all. This would seem to be expected and advice would tell you that you keep on submitting and see how you get on. Well, frankly, I can't be arsed. Its not much fun at all. And what is the point if its not fun?

So, I'm going to have some fun. I'm going to prepare The Beatle Man for self-publishing on Lulu. The simple fact is, I don't know if its good enough to be published or not. I think its good but that really isn't a consideration in the process. You get no feedback, you can make no objective measure of quality, you just have to punt it into the darkness and see what happens.

Sure, I could pay one of these wretched services to read/review/feedback, but that is even less fun.

This is the plan. Lulu and have a go at whatever viral marketing I can muster. It won't be successful, but it will be fun. Formatting/designing/the whole ISBN process. Unless you are one of the poor sods I badger to buy a copy!

I hope to have it ready for the new year. But, knowing me, it could take me that long to decide on the font for the front cover.

This is not an admission of failure*, just an admission of laziness with the process. I once read an article in the Sunday Times where they had submitted the 1st three chapters of very famous books to publishers and saw them all get rejected. Now, my book isn't as good as any of those. Go figure.

Hey, and if its good enough for Radiohead, I can claim to be all 'new model'.

The main thing is that I will be able to draw a line under The Beatle Man and get on with Terra Exitus, still stalled in the "WTF" phase.

* well, maybe a little bit

Plotting...

Slowly and surely they drew their plans against us*. I've done very little work of an evening, there is no denying it. I think I need my holiday which, luckily, arrives next week. The plot for Terra Exitus is moving along but I'm struggling with the fact I can let go of some of the original ideas I had, despite not being able to make them fit the narrative. Obviously, this will have to happen but I'll need bits to replace them. And, as happened with The Beatle Man, making one bit of plot work tends to kick other bits out of shape. At least I'm doing that in advance this time, not as I typed.

Although this time, it is almost more of clash of themes. I have a strong idea of the central theme, but the only plot that makes sense just now, doesn't quite fit with that. So changes are required. (By lucky hap, I think I just worked out how as I typed this! Thankyou pointless rambling!)

So, its nearly time to sit down and start writing. And there is an odd feeling. When I did this before, I had no idea if I could write a whole book. I've done that now (good or bad, rejected or otherwise). But still, I sit down now with more belief and crucially, with the challenge being to make it good, not just to see if I can make it to the end. As I discovered before, however long it takes, that's the easy bit.

* I must re-read that.

The Life of a...

Busy doing nothing, working the whole day through. Which is the problem I suppose. Still, after a brief pause to well, laze about, I'm off and running with the Terra Exitus plan. I've still not convinced Stuart that it is worth writing, but I'm ploughing on anyway. I want to see if I can get it into a shape that I really believe in enough to dedicate at least a year or more to complete. Thing is, I know from the small amount I have tried, it will be pretty tough to write in the style I want it. But that is probably the most attractive thing about it. I have proved (to myself at least) that I can complete a competent novel. That's not to say it will ever get published (by anyone other than me) but for the next one I know I need to stretch again and try to get something with more of a hook. And, as it happens, something a lot more downbeat.

In other news:

• Much excitement on the Beatle Man front. Received my first rejection from those lovely people at Snowbooks. I still think they are great. It was an important rite of passage. Roll on for the next one!
• Not forgetting my esteemed commission to write on Stuart's blog.
• I have started a plan for a book of children's poetry.
• Just got an email to ask if I would like to supply photos as reference to an excellent US painter, which is nice.
• Think I'm heading back to Mumbai soon, which will be great. Its going to be quite busy though, so I may be frustrated on the photo front.

One final note to mark the passing of my beloved Renault Laguna. Someone ran into the back of it and it didn't even look scratched. The people fixing it had other ideas and the insurance company wrote it off. Swines. Now I need a new car and its very tedious.

Broke the rules...

Ok, I said I wouldn't write any of the new book until I finished The Beatle Man. And I suppose that's true. It is 'finished'. Its just that really should be sorting out a decent synopsis. But I've got a cold and I'm really not in the mood. So I wrote this instead. The (potential) opening paragraph of Terra Exitus. Whether or not it survives is a long way down the road.

I saw him standing by the flower stall at the end of South End Road. He looked alone. A kind face. I waited a while to make sure he didn't call anyone. Leaving the train station, I crossed the road, walked passed him and headed up the hill. At the hospital entrance, I called him again with the next location and headed off towards the coffee shop on Haverstock Hill.
The table in the window was free as I had arranged. The world walked by. Steam rose from my coffee. I ate the small round biscuit with a single bite. He came in and looked around, his eyes finally finding me tucked in the window. His scarf unwound from his neck, he sat down and smiled.
"Finally" he said, breathing heavily from the walk up the hill.
"This is the last time, yes? Do you have the tape recorder?"
I wanted to get started. It was dangerous to take too long. "OK, its running, off you go." I had thought through what I was going to say a number of times but now, faced with this one last chance, I didn't know how to start. I looked out the window again. I could hear my own breath. I started.
"In the beginning..."
I stopped. That wasn't the best to way to start. I laughed but didn't smile.

Be interesting to see if it stays like that.

And now...the end is near...

And so we arrive here. At the edge of a cliff.

After many years of toil, the manuscript of my first novel is ready to submit. Which simply means I'm sick of the sight of it. But I think that's normal. I found as I did the last two readthroughs that you enter a dangerous period. One in which every bit you read starts to look rubbish and you feel compelled to change it. Its quite hard to get that balance right. A lot of the time you hate it simply because you've seen it too many times.

Now I have to struggle with a synopsis. I had one for a while back and it is guff. Need to start that again. You would think it would be easy. But it ain't.

Then there is who to send it to? I've decided that my very first submission will be to SnowBooks. I love the ethos of their site and it means that I have already read the rejection letter! After that, well, I'm still working on that.

The best news is that the process of really digging in and getting it finished has really fired me up to write again. The plan for Terra Exitus is coming along well (although several fairly important aspects are still changing on a daily basis), not to mention the sizeable plot whole in the mid-section. But that will come when I can put the hours in.

The other night, to celebrate the fact that I wasn't going to touch it any more, I designed a front cover for a bit of fun. It came out like this:



Yes, that's Eurostile again (for all you font fans). Expect it to appear in self-publish format in a few months time :-)

Proofing versus Reading

There is no denying it, I'm not finding proof reading very easy. Obviously, I can't for a minute suggest that reading my own book is dull, but proof reading is very dull. Trouble is, its a weird mix of reading and parsing. You have to pay very close attention to every word, whilst at the same time keeping an eye on the flow. Before you know it, you are reading and not proofing and you have to start the whole page again.

This is best explained with this oft quoted example:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

This is exactly what happens when you proof read. You simply don't notice mistakes. Your brain can replace entire incorrect wards with the correct ones without you noticing.*

And, to put no to fine a point on it, that makes it far harder to proof-read than you imagine. I'm sure you can get good at it. But I'm only on page 59 and its going very slowly. Still, I'll get there.

Website of the day:
Great photos, lovely implementation.

Track of the day:
Well, the randomiser was kind today, some real crackers, Shangri-La by That Petrol Emotion gets an honorable mention but the standout of the night was surely One Step Beyond by Madness. Suddenly I was 12 again. Top. Another point of note is that the new laptop can drive my Sennheisers far better than the old one. Volume, at last!
(I'll try and get that last.fm recent tracks thing integrated with the blog something soon)

* see what I did there?

The Silence of the Editor

Quiet round here. I'm editing the Beatle Man. Its going OK. In the re-read I made myself laugh. I take that as a good sign. I'm at Chapter 11 and I've come to one of the first and biggest excisions. Dropping a character and a small sub-plot. Its strangely painful but, I believe, as necessary as the original inclusion was pointless.
I should complete the first complete pass by the end of the week. Then its time to get writing again, I have at least 10 new scenes to write to make the revised plot make sense. I'm looking forward to that bit, following the narrative exposition mantra so closely did create some fun stuff to do. Then I'll be doing the flow work with the storyboard (which I'm very glad I took the time to do).
I seem have to become grammar-blind though (not that I was ever 20-20). During the editing process I am strangely compelled to add commas, dunno why, it just seems to be the done thing. I need to resist because in quite a few situations I've been punctuating out my arse, time to get the Strunk and White out again.

Website of the Day:
This is lovely. Whatever it is.

Track of the Day:
Aaaah, Clair de Lune just came on (sounds great on the new Sennheisers). Its such a great piece of music. And since I'm in the mode of Pacino film references...

Editing Smediting

My reader will be aware that, for quite some time now, I've been working on a novel, The Beatle Man. That self-same reader will also be aware that, despite being finished in first draft, there remains much to do. Therein lies the problem. The editing/revision process is, without doubt, a bit of a struggle. Somehow, when you are first committing the plot to the keyboard, you are almost propelled to the end, downhill, eager. Now, there may be some people who get to the bottom of the hill and discover all that they have written is a work of instant, perfect creation. Not I.
There are a number of things to correct and, from where I'm standing, they're all uphill.

There is little doubt that the photopgraphy thing appeals because of it immediacy. Click, good, keep. Click, rubbish, delete. Compared to months of toil at night after work...

Truth is, there is nothing insurmountable in the work that remains. A little, light plot rework, some restructuring, moving a few bits about, and a few bits to be added to provide a gentle dusting of narrative exposition to replace some of the more clunky plotting.

Despite everything, I still believe in the story, which, I suppose, is the important thing. Which should get me there, eventually. Then I can start TE, which I'm really looking forward too. You never know, it might be perfect first time out the box (pmsl).

Website of the day:
Scott Stulberg's Photos - just a little bit good

Track of the day:
Tough choice tonight, the randomiser didn't have its best night, but I will have to go for 'Things Start to Unwind' by Andy White

Heat Sinking

It has never been clear to me why I write. I certainly can't remember why I started. I'm not really of a mind to work it out, doesn't seem to matter. Why I continue to attempt to write a probably a more pertinent question. Given that it competes for time with the myriad of other things I attempt to do, it would be easy to presume that it would drop off the bottom of the list. It is quite hard work after all. And its not like I'm the most obvious writer type, engineering degree and unnatural interest in formulae and spacecraft, culturally fairly limited.
I beginning to realise that its an energy thing. There is a quite a lot of creative energy kicking about that needs somewhere to go. Recently it has been more tech focussed, sometimes to goes into the camera but writing (and often just thinking about what to write ) always gives the energy somewhere to go. It's just a big heat sink.
I find that writing takes far more energy than anything else I try to do, which is probably why I keep going back to it. I suppose I must believe I can do it to a certain extent too. I'd hate to think that I was one of those deluded unfortunates that turn up on the X-Factor claiming to be the next big thing when they actually sound and look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
I'm lucky enough to have had some encouragment from articles published and a group of friends who have kept me going. Especially DM, who has been a diamond. And Stuart, obviously, have to mention him or he'll moan.
Now I need to really get the energy focussed, I need to finish the edit of the BM.

Resurrected By (ahem) Popular Demand

To explain. I first started writing a novel, Orion's Belt, back in the early nineties.
I made it about 25,000 words in when life, circumstance, boredom caused me to stop.
If I read it now, I file it under 'not bad'. Truth is, its very unlikely to ever get finished, superceded as it was by the, now almost complete, BM (of which, more later no doubt) and TE (to start next year hopefully).

Here's the 1st chapter. I went off the beginning pretty quickly and would probably have changed it. It was clearly just a poor attempt to pastiche the start of H2G2, which isn't right, frankly.

Chapter 1 - The Return

High in the northern sky, straddled by the celestial equator; sandwiched between the constellations of Gemini and Taurus, lies the collection of stars, galaxies and nebulae known as Orion. The Hunter stands with his sword held high. His broad shoulders spread across the sky from the vast red supergiant of Betelgeuse, a mere 310 light years away, to the lesser known Bellatrix. An arm extends to grasp an impressive bow and, below, his body extends all the way down to Saiph and the very bright Rigel. Somewhere in between lie Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka; a row of three stars otherwise known as Orion’s belt.

His dogs Canis Major and Canis Minor stand ready at his side. Presumably, to chase the constellation Lepus, the hare, down the starry river Po that is Eridanus. Monoceros the Unicorn looks on proudly, unaffected by the intense glare from the greater of the two dogs. Its eye, Sirius, is the brightest eye in the sky and would scare away most other passing animals. Even Taurus the bull would shy away from its gaze had he not otherwise been preoccupied with the bow of Orion aimed squarely at its flanks.

Of all the objects and creatures in the sky; it is Orion’s belt that stands out more than anything else. This line of beacons in the sky is the first thing I see every time I look to the sky. The smooth continuity of the line disguising the fact the rightmost of the three stars, Mintaka, is twice as far from us as the others.

Orion is by far the most spectacular constellation in the sky. To the naked eye his outline is obvious on any cloudless night and the wondrous sights of M42 and the Horsehead Nebula have bewitched astronomers for centuries. I suppose it is therefore slightly surprising that a poll of the general populace would identify Orion as a make of Ford car other than one of the most beautiful sights in the galaxy. Ford executives, of course, would no doubt claim that their misconceived ‘Escort with a boot’ could hold its own in a beauty contest. I fear that says rather more about the executives that it does about the appearance of the car which does not do any sort of justice to its celestial namesake.

Until recently, I was as much part of the populace as anyone else on this. The discovery of Orion happened about only 18 months ago and undoubtedly played a part in me driving here tonight. I’m not implying any magical powers or astrological significance. I’ve got far too little imagination for anything like that. Only that ever since I resolved to look at the world with the same eyes that discovered Orion; nothing else has quite been the same.

Looking up at Orion now I’ve just noticed something that has unbelievably escaped my notice all these months. Orion, despite all his greatness and prowess as a hunter, appears not to have a head. His shoulders do rise to a point in the middle but it’s not exactly what you’d call a head. You might say that it’s quite a big detail to miss. In my defence I can only say the glory of his sword, bow and belt can easily blind the casual observer to the omission of such a necessary feature. There is certainly a big part of me that wishes I had noticed his lack of head a bit sooner. Perhaps then I would not have been quite so taken with the star gazing business and would therefore not have ended up here in the freezing cold. Vince would say that that was me looking for someone or something other than myself to blame. He does have an irritating knack of being cruelly right with these things. I know I can’t blame Orion, headless or not. If I try to be honest ( and there’s nothing better for that than a freezing cold cloudless Highland night ) I know there’s no one else to blame; if, indeed, there is any blame to be apportioned.

I cast my eyes around the sky and picked out many of the features I had learnt to recognise. The Great Bear of Ursa Major looked down on me; the Plough standing out among the group of stars. Cassiopeia, the proud queen and mother of Andromeda, her bright variables like a heartbeat; Hydra, the watersnake, swimming across the heavenly sea. The heavens told so many stories. Stories that I had recounted from this very spot.

Looking lower in the sky, the dark and portentous mountains on the other side of the Loch blocked the view of the sky. Seeing those mighty peaks reminded me of the of the reason for my return to this place and the happiness I had known here previously.

The peace that lay across the depths of the Loch Ness was just as I has remembered it. Even at night, the intense, unflappable calm was almost tangible. It was a calm that left my mind clear to try to appease the pain that I now felt very clearly in this silent location. Devoid of any outward stimulus, the brain left to concentrate on only the thoughts inside it.

The waters of the Loch looked as dark as space itself. In many ways we know far about the vast expanses of space than we do about the immense depths of Loch Ness. Some believe in a monster. I was never one of them. Lack of real scientific evidence had always blinded me of the real story of the monster. If the stars can be symbols of Gods, warriors and animals why then can’t this Loch be a symbol of a great monsters hidden somewhere in its darkness. I know who it was that made me start to think that way. Knowing that made my pain worsen. I needed an answer before my need for excuses and reason where none exists might cast me into the Loch.

I took my eyes away from the water and continued their slow progression downward until I stood staring at my feet. Below was the solid rock. The rock she had said could hold memories forever. Could they help me to remember ? I knew I had come to the right place. It seemed strange at the time to jump in the car and drive to Loch Ness. Something in my subconscious evidently knew what was the best thing to do even if my outward self would have found it difficult to make a cup of tea.

I had left at 6.30pm. I had made up my mind on my next course action within the first few miles. I don’t know why I hadn’t turned round then and got it all over with. Perhaps it was the rocks that drew me here; their strong granite magnetism pulling on whatever core I had left. Or maybe it was my memories that remain here that tugged me further north; away from the protective lights of the city and the civilisation that made me feel that all the world was mine. In the city I could survive on my own or so I thought. The further the orange glow of humanity was left behind the more my decision had changed. Stripped bare of the surroundings that made me feel part of something; the defence of a citadel full of distractions I realised quite how alone I was.

On the road I could see nothing but darkness in front of me. I wondered if this was in any way symbolic. I drove on in the hope of at least finding a chink of light. By the time I had reached Drumochter my previous decision had been completely forgotten; left behind in the false benevolence of concrete and sodium light.

When I arrived it was completely dark. It took a while to recognise enough of the landmarks to find the exact spot where I had stood before. The only place that might contain the memories that I could not see through the pain. I knew I could not leave here until I had made the right decision; no matter how long it took. I looked down at my feet for inspiration. The memories were not returning. I toyed with the idea of taking of my shoes in the hope that it would help the rock communicate with me. I decided against it. Maybe I was starting to take all this symbolism a bit to far; I had to stick to what I knew best. The answer was there; it just had to be found.

I looked back to the sky and began to see a glimmer of hope. My old friend Orion stood as proud as the day I had first picked out his figure in the myriad of stars. If I was going to find an answer it would be by going back to the very beginning. To the day when I first decided to cast my eyes to the stars; the day that led me to discover Orion’s Belt.

Youthful Writings

A rather frightening 16 years ago, I got on a train on a rainy Sunday night to go back to Glasgow. I sat at a table and started to write. Probably the first time I had ever consciously decided to write anything. What emerged will certainly win no prizes but its probably not to be all that ashamed of either.

So, here it is:
A Typical Journey On Public Transport

Way Back When

Back in the early/mid nineties I first hit on the somewhat entertaining notion that I should write a book. I honestly can't say what first gave me this notion, but whatever is what was, I still have it now.
My one blog reader will now that that first attempt at a novel was called "Orion's Belt". A simple tale of love and death (although I never made it as far as the death part). I only made it about 25000 words in before I gave up, I think I lost where the plot was going or lost belief in the story. Could also be because I was trying to combine the comic sensibilities of Douglas Adams with a Zola-esque darkness in plot. Never going to work. (Although I tried to do exactly the same thing in the book I actually finished!) Funny thing is, reading it back now, there are parts of it that still stand up pretty well (to my biased an untrained eye at least).
In the spirit of the intent to blog stuff that wouldn't otherwise see the light of day, here is the beginning of Chapter 6 (in which the central character encounters the girl he loves from afar when the hubcap of her car flies off and hits him). Probably not all that original, but I like still it. So there.

( and to continue and previous theme, read Gleicks book on Chaos too )

Many things in life are unpredictable in some way or other. The only thing that I have found that can’t be predicted with any degree of accuracy is the noise you make after you sneeze. And it’s not just me, I’ve seen it happen to other people too. A quite harmless sneeze suddenly turns into an outburst close to a new form of expletive.

It is difficult to find many examples of true randomness. Even with something as sophisticated as a computer randomness can only be achieved by taking a snapshot of a known state. There appear to be reasons for most things and that is why I always look for a reason for everything. The safe waters of unpredictability like weather and heart attacks have recently been muddied by the introduction of the aptly named Chaos theory. I’m sure that scientists would argue that, despite most of the physical world being deterministic in some sense, at a quantum level nothing can ever be predicted. Until the day he died Einstein never believed this and neither do I. Not because I understand it but simply because I believe in order, I believe in reason, I don’t believe in coincidence and above all I don’t believe in God.

Coincidence I’m sure can be proved. There is a well documented theory that states that given the number of people in the world there is statistically a very good chance that somewhere in the world at a given time something quite unbelievably coincidental is happening to someone. A man is walking up to a complete stranger in the street and guessing his phone number. It’s no fluke, it’s just probability. That doesn’t mean that it’s not totally freaky when it happens to you.

Lost Bits

Trawling around my PC, I've found lots of scribbles, notes and nonsense that were at some stage meant to appear in something more complete. It struck me that I may as well put some of them here, doubt they would ever see the light of day otherwise.
This was the opening paragraph from an idea for a book about writing a book...

What happens when you put pen to paper or type a letter on the screen? Do the letters and words appear? Can you see them? Well, yes. But what is it you see? It’s not the letters themselves. It’s the shape of the paper or screen around the dark area of the text: the ink stopping light being reflected from the paper. It still reflects from the paper around it and you see the shape of the area that doesn’t reflect the light. The light that is reflected to form the final words is already there. All the words already exist. You just have to find them.

I can see why I gave up on that, its like Abbott and Costello doing some sort of physics based routine. I can see what I was trying to say, but jeez, didn't half make a meal of it.

Website of the Day:
SimplyExplained as a tribute to my wife who has already destroyed my points total in under a week, sheepishly, he retreats from the room, a broken man.
Track of the Day:
Tonight, the big randomizer chose Frightened by The Fall, it has to be the choice. It really is rather special. Although, I'm glad to report that there doesn't appear to be anyone on my tracks currently.
Perhaps not a populist choice but it will keep Stuart happy and, after all, everyone likes a quiet life.

Random Poem #1

Nothing rhymes with anything
But nothing rhymes with orange
So orange rhymes with anything
And everything rhymes with orange